What's the secret?
When I was visiting my family in Russia last month, my nephew played Kung-Fu Panda cartoon over and over again. It's a fun cartoon, no doubts, to watch once. Well, maybe twice. But every other day for a month - oh, come on, stop it already! Right? Well, guess what... I'm flying back to the US, and on the longest (transatlantic) lag, they've been showing a bunch of movies, including... Yes! Kung-Fu Panda! Oh, no...
When I saw that, "Oh no..." was indeed my first reaction. But then, I remembered the line from that same cartoon - "there are no coincidences" - hence, I asked myself a question, "Why is this cartoon being shown to me? What do I have to learn from it?" So, I decided to bite the bullet and watch it one more time... And sure enough - (CAUTION! SPOILER ALERT!) the Panda opens up the Dragon Scroll, supposedly containing the greatest secret of the Dragon Warrior - just to find it ... empty! And, sure enough, his dad gives away his secret ingredient for his famous noodle soop (ONE MORE SPOILER ALERT!) - that there is no secret ingredient. And, sure enough, Panda finally "gets it"...
And, sure enough, I finally "get it" too!
So, here's the scoop, my brothers and sisters... To my utter embarrassment, in that very moment I'm realizing that for a while (for quite a while, in fact), I've been searching for that "secret ingredient" - without realizing it - to make my life happier, to move to the "next level", to become someone I want to become but apparently haven't gotten there yet... All because, I thought, I haven't "gotten" some kind of "secret ingredient" that other, more successful / happier people, apparently, discovered... BANG! Here's your secret, my dear friends. Look no further. Sell your ticket to that expensive "The Most Well-Guarded Secrets Of <...>" seminar, use your "The Secret" DVD as a backyard decoration (scares of squirrels, by the way, I kid you not!), stop running around like a madman spying out the techniques and ideas from all and everyone you might think have "got it". The real secret is that there is no secret. Stop looking, start living. It's that simple.
Of course, I'm in no way saying that you should stop learning - no-no-no! I didn't mean that at all. In fact, you'll probably start learning at a "new and improved" rate and quality. What I'm saying is - stop stopping yourself from being who you are, and start living your goddamn life already! You've had your "secret ingredient" all along - you might need to learn a few technicalities and practice and few things, maybe even quite a few things, maybe even for a few years. But don't expect to "get it" from some sort of "secret revealed" hoccus-poccus delivered to you over the week-end by some "guru" - that's what I mean.
Curiously, I should have known that long ago from my prior successes in science, in music, in NLP, and a few other things. What is that "secret ingredient" in being a good programmer, for example? If you asked me, I would laugh and say, "common sense, hard work, and lots of patience." That's no "secret", really. If you ask me what's the secret ingredient in skillful communication - I would say, "common sense, hard work, and even more patience." And probably laugh even harder :-) But when it came to making my own life happier, what did I do? Yeah, you got me there... Your turn to laugh.
So, why do people look for "secrets", to begin with? Perhaps, one reason is our own greed - to get more for less... One Russian humorist, Michael Zadornov, writes how he once saw a very wealthy Russian businessman playing piano in a hotel during his trip to the US. Just for fun, for his own entertainment. Played very well, with all his soul... Like only Russians can play Russian popular melodies - passers-by were stopping to listen... Someone gave him a $20 bill (remember, his an insanely rich businessman!). When he finished playing, he grabbed that $20 bill, ran back to his friends, all thrilled and happy, like a kid, showing the money. One guy remarked, "You know why you are so happy? This is the first $20 you have actually earned, honestly."
Another reason, perhaps, is the appearance of successful people "getting lucky". Someone said, "It took me 20 years to become an overnight success." Funny, but true. Sadly, most people don't see the prior 20 years leading to the glorious "popping out of nowhere" celebrity, hence the illusion of a "secret ingredient".
And the third reason - sadly, not the least, in my opinion - that "secrets" sell... So our infamous marketing and advertising does every trick in the book to get the unsuspecting crowd bite another bait of "secret ingredient", just to find an expensive hook underneath, and a chef waiting for you with a knife and a campfire on the other end of the line...
A child-carp asks his mother - where's daddy? - Gone fishing...
